Names of Allah

Monday, February 14, 2011

6 Sexiest Kissing Moments From 80’s Movies

When I was a chubby teen dying to be loved by anyone who could recite the lyrics to a Morrissey song, I found great comfort and oddly scintillating feelings in my bathing suit area whenever the following moments would grace my “edited for television” life.
No, I didn’t have cable growing up.
Below are what I consider the 6 Sexiest Kissing Moments From 80’s Movies.
Am I right or am I right?
6. Some Kind Of Wonderful

When Eric Stoltz grabs Watt’s mom jeans and pulls him into her, teenage loins around the world literally exploded.  This scene is uber hot.  Unrequited love, secret love, BFF love – it has every emotion a single guy or girl has ever felt all rolled up into one passionate moment.
5. Top Gun

I usually need a moment to myself whenever I hear the first few notes of Berlin’s only relevant song begin to play.  I often wonder how many babies were conceived to that song.  And when those shadowed bodies undress each other as they tickle each other’s tongues?
Holy shit!
I was 10 when I saw this movie and I knew that I wanted whatever was happening on screen to be happening to me, like, stat.  Tom Cruise may be a gooney-eyed “religious fellow” now, but back before he sold his soul, he was one strappingly hot guy.
4. The Princess Bride

As sweet Wesley kisses his true love, Buttercup, all the kittens in heaven start to purr.
This really is just a perfect kissing scene.
The not so great part is that about two seconds after he removes his tongue from her mouth he disappears, for like five years.
What a dick.
(Seriously – He had a hot virgin ready to go and then he LEAVES??)
3. The Goonies
Every geeky kid has a fantasy of kissing a hot cheerleader.
Sean Astin is so stunned when Andie smooches him, he almost forgets that this will be his only good movie until Lord of the Rings.
(P.S. Trying to Google “Goonies Kiss” is a slippery slope I do not recommend.)
(Seriously.  They are Goonie.)
2. Sixteen Candles

This is obviously the most iconic kissing scene from ANY 80′s movie.  Sam finally gets her wish.
Who can’t go all mushy for this kiss?
Jake Ryan leaning over a massive fire hazard to kiss a massive fire crotch?
(A little known fact here – During filming the candles (all 16 of them), kept melting the cake, so they had to build a fake, cardboard cake for this scene.  And now you know.)
1. Pump Up The Volume

I think this movie may have come out in 1990, but I have to add it because this is by far the sexiest “Non-Kiss” I’ve ever seen.  When Nora takes her shirt off and she and Christian Slater circle each other for the good part of the slowest song on the soundtrack, the groin attacking anticipation of this kiss is so hot, you almost don’t want it to happen.  And come on, what awkward teenage boy has EVER seen boobs before swapping spit?  She was so groundbreaking!
In conclusion… if these kissing scenes made such an impact on me in my teen years, why then, now that I’m all grown up, do these same moments make me vurp up my chardonnay?
I’ll tell you why.  It’s because these movies stood for a time in my life that, while living it, was pretty wretched.  I was the girl watching these moments played out – never the one living them.  I clung to each word and practiced every kiss on my pillow in hopes that my big dance would come.  And, like most romantically obsessed teens (Twi-hards, you know who you are), it never did.
We just grew up and moved on to bigger and better things, like The Notebook.  The love at all costs, life and death, I’ll-build-you-a-house-to-prove-my-love overtures make quirky 80’s kisses seems so high school.  We don’t want true love anymore.  We want a handy man.  Who’s with me on this?

No comments:

Post a Comment